Everything go still soft for boys. Each and every thing.
Na my motto be that, since I be small pikin. As I dey trek Rumuodumaya, fly bike from Rumuokoro junction, waka like one kilometre before I reach my papa house for Oro-Aka street. Before I chop, I go enter road go buy the feed wey my mama fowl go chop. Una dey everly forget say na for PH trenches dem born me. I waka with bare leg, arrange monkey post, spin tyre, chop sand, collect punch. Na Ajayi gentrify me, shoutout to Ajayi.
Na wetin I dey tell myself that year for Akure. As I dey use leg waka inside hot sun from JAMB lesson for Oba Adesida onto NEPA junction. Na safety pin I use take hold my trouser; granite chop my palm slippers, you for see as e trim for back. Sapa show for my neck, breeze fit carry me go that year. I write JAMB three times, I pass three times; you no go understand. Saturday like this, I go trek 30 minutes for Oda Road go watch Man City for viewing centre, make my depression nor too choke. To spark joy, I dey use church keyboard compose song for night. I write like 100 songs, you no go believe. Wetin I dey write:
“Everything go still soft for boys.”
Na wetin I dey tell myself that year for Ife. As I dey Room 102 for Awo with like eleven boys. E dense like Man U first team. I dey use hot plate boil the Golden Penny and tomato paste wey I go use set my daily formation. I remember say my alarm na “Rich” by MI ft Koker that year. As Koker sing “ilekun a shi”, “we will all be rich”, aje e dey motivate me. I go arise by like 5:30AM go jack Philosophy 101 for Common Room. That time, nothing else dey to face apart from book. Rene Descartes say “I think therefore I am”. Omo I think sotey, I gather dey.
Na wetin I tell myself that year as I dey follow Solo trek Agungi for night. Nowhere to crash. My aunty for VGC no gree make I dey, my aunty for Agege no gree make I come; when my money finish, I carry my bag go meet my aunty for Ibadan. Before I start to dey make money, e get one BDS for that Abule Egba roundabout side I dey go gather cloth that year. Boutique blue light no consign me. Bro, na like N500 I dey select trouser, N150 I select tie. And I go still clean up, use rizz burst their head for OAU.
Ask about me, nowhere I never reach for Lagos. From Berger to Aboyade Cole, Ketu to TBS, Opebi to Landmark. Na like 2 hours 30 minutes I dey use take reach Banwo that year, from Agege. When I reach office, I go first enter bathroom use tissue paper clean sweat for my face. When I dey commot, I go mount BRT queue for Obalende (because I no wan enter bus go Oshodi) wey go carry me reach Pen Cinema. I go don buy one Pepsi and two gala, plug earpiece for ear, dey post motivation for WhatsApp status:
“Everything go still soft for boys.”
Na wetin I dey tell myself that year as I dey danfo for Lekki-Epe. Wig and gown dey one hand, I hold court file for the other hand. Wahala fe pa The Law. Heat and service charge hook me for neck like bow tie. 2021 eh? Lagos babes wan kill me and my NYSC 33k. If I hear say I send your papa. I laugh, crack my neck, as I dey tell myself:
“Everything go still soft for boys.”
And I never finish. Na wetin I still dey tell myself as I dey waka King’s Cross for London. Omo, my body weak that first week. Dem no gree give me drug for pharmacy, I lie down for ground dey pray make my fever subside. Mumu — instead make I pack indomie and medicine come, I go dey pack book.
Nobody to carry me go hospital. My guy no gree reply my text, she no pick phone. Tears full my eye. I come dey reason say if I die like this, nobody go even find me come. Na so I pour hot water for head and for throat, enter blanket. Me wey I just land? Which kind unfortunate headline be that? If I hear say my village people win.
Everything go still soft for boys.
Na why my self esteem high die. Even when I soak garri, swagger kun le, o seku. I thank God say, last last, I be fine boy and I sabi package. I kanda for my lane. My gragra initial and perpetual. No seniorman fit oppress me, no babe fit pressure me. I no get experience with woman billing, na mumu dey get.
Each and every thing go soft. Like better yansh. Like agege bread wey dem arrange for tray. Me I go still fresh. I go still collect extra sheet for my passport. Everything I dey use take fantasize that year, everything wey vivid for my imagination, I go still run am. I no wan hear say I don old. When I gather my Christmas money come, no tell me say big balloon don finish. When I carry my ball come, na me be “I-one”.
E don dey soft small small for boys but e just start. If e don dey be like say I wan reach my limit like this, ehn, I switch up and further advance. E no go tire me. Na “I Told Them” Tour be this, tickets dey Alaba. Mi o de gba waju wole, mo fe gbe wo.
Everything go still soft. My brother, no be one day dem build Third Mainland. Ordinary maintenance sef tey. If you wan trek Ikorodu, na step by step. Wipe your eye, draw your chair, plan your life. If you like, dey one side dey play. Dey reason yourself pass your level. Dey follow yeye boys dey philosophize. Dey give two cents wey you no get. Dey pursue yama yama babes wey nor fit see vision.
And true true, I believe say na all of us e go soft for. Ask about me. Since OAU, as I download the 411 like this, I dey steady give all my guys. I no be those kind boys wey dey hide update. I do workshop, write article, make everybody sabi. Dem help me ni, me sef gats maintain. We rise by lifting others oloun, but no loud am.
But people don do me things for this life. Mad things. Wicked, painful things. E burst my head, e tire me. Dem shenk me. Wetin Victony talk? I no fit reason am, e go kpai me. I go reset back if I reason my setback. After I look myself finish, I move. Because life fit hard today but,
everything go still soft for boys.
No, but I don see some mad things. Na why I dey everly focus. Na why my head correct. My papa no get, so I no dey follow anybody form anything. As my opportunity come like this, e no dey knock twice before I open door. If I hear say I no gbenusi.
If I hear say I nor sabi. If I hear say I no run am. If I hear say dem no pick me. If I hear say I no loud am. Una go still hear weh. Individual weh, no be I pass my neighbor kind thing because last last, I no send. Nor be competition. I face my hustle make enjoyment assassinate my babe, make e better for my family — present and future.
E don do for my plenty fooling, I don dey strict. I no dey offer shalaye again, I no dey torchlight any matter, I don wicked. I see say as I dey follow una speak fone, you dey feel say I be bolo. E don do. I dey talk wetin dey my mind now, I dey send people wey send me; and if e no sure, abeg no show.
And all of una wey gba me, I dey gidigba for you. No oh, I never forget. Leave forgiveness for Bros J. For this life, on top the placenta wey I hold for my mama bele, that leg wey you use take match me, I go still use mallet break am. I go still palm you for neck, use your forehead rub ground. Christmas go still come. And I be Father Christmas — I’m making a list and aje, I am checking it twice.
But to my boys wey dem shenk for Maintenance Gate, boys wey dey run overnight for faculty, boys wey dey jack Cundy Smith for Law School, boys wey their competitive salary don dey carry last, boys wey Nigeria don tire, I hope say I dey motivate you. Me sef aspire to inspire. Make e perspire. Omo iyami, I see your grind, mafo.
Everything go still soft for boys.
“Ilekun a shi. Ise owo mi falubarika si. Everything we dey face right now go turn story. We will all be rich.”
But na process. And me I get one or two things wey I gats organise first. Wait, I dey come.
